glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
