So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
