yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't put those talents on a resume
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
