my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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