dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
