There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
