What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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