hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
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Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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