Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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