You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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