): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
what day is it and did you see me today?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
