so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
