I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
