is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
