That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
