ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
