I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
