I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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