i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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