i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
