Apparently you make a good broom.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize