Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
