I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
