She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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