everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
