okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
