i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
