Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
