that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
