So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
