Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
