woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
