This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
