Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
