i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
