Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
