He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
