So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
