First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
