Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
