I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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