Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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