well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
