Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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