If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
