Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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