so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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