put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
