so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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