see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
