someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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