I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
