I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
