I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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