Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize