In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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