O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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