i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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