Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
