So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
